


The Edge

by Anexis



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Post-War setting, Shepard Survives, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3754753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anexis/pseuds/Anexis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She takes a long look at the mines below, closing her eyes as a breeze passes over her, the bitter scent of Eezo tingling her nose as she takes a deep breath. He wouldn't have wanted this..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Edge

She's on the edge. One slip, one “wrong” move and everything would be right again.

It could be easy.

She takes a long look at the mines below, closing her eyes as a breeze passes over her, the bitter scent of Eezo tingling her nose as she takes a deep breath. He wouldn't have wanted this...

“Finish the fight, Siha. And when you go to the sea, I will be waiting for you on the shore.”

But the fight _was_ over, wasn't it?

She had awoken in the dark, her skin on fire and lungs choked with dust. She remembered Harbinger, a bright light and searing pain, then... nothing. She tried to scream, call for help, but her mouth was too dry and she couldn't make a sound, she doubted anyone would hear her anyway. She slipped in and out of conciousness for what felt like an eternity, praying to a god she didn't believe in that death would soon find her.

She had thought her prayers answered, she could hear the waves, smell the salt and feel the water, cool against her flesh and soothing her open wounds. But, the peace didn't last long before it was torn from her by blinding light, too loud voices and a rush of fresh air.

It had been two years since that day. 

Two years of hospitals and recovery, of friends looking straight at her but not truly _seeing_ anything. They would rather believe that the woman they pulled from the rubble was still the same, that _she_ was still the same, but she had died long ago. 

She had died with him.

She had run away, as soon as she was able, ran from the doctors that worked to save her life, ran from the so-called friends who chose to ignore her pain so they could sleep better at night, from the reporters that hounded her for interviews, photos, exclusives. She just ran. 

Omega had called to her then like she never believed it could. She had hated the lawless planet, had despised it's self-proclaimed leader, Aria T'loak. Every inch of this place wreaked of desperation and depravity and she had only come to this pisshole when she had no other choice, staying only as long as was needed. She couldn't understand why anyone would willingly live here, but now, she knew. 

Standing on the edge of the balcony of some shitty motel high above the mines, she knew. Nobody here was truly alive. 

Omega was a haven for the broken and the lost, it was a place for those who had nowhere else to go. That was who she was now, battle-scarred and broken but still somehow breathing. While everyone around her recovered from the war, she was just a sad reminder of all that had been lost.

_If the fight is over, then why are you still fighting?_ It was a question she asked herself again and again, searching deep inside for answers and finding none.

_Why am I still fighting...?_ She closes her eyes and finds peace for the first times in years as the world around her fades away. 

_It would be so easy..._

**Author's Note:**

> This one was hard for me to write, as it's about something I've struggled with for many years, though it was also rather freeing to get these feelings out in a creative way. I decided to leave it vague and open-ended, leaving a lot up to the reader. I hope you like it. :)
> 
> If you feel suicidal, please seek help. It can be hard to believe, I know, but it does get better. If you need someone, please feel free to talk to me.


End file.
